Stupid Thoughts
by Dior Crystal
Summary: <html><head></head>Yamamoto Takeshi. He is the only one who makes Gokudera feel less lonely. 8059. AU.</html>


**Disclaimer:** Katekyo Hitman Reborn! is not mine.

* * *

><p>In Gokudera Hayato's life, he did not attend three, not five, not ten, not twelve, but <em>countless<em> of weddings.

Aside from his love of playing the piano, weddings was something that he was not unfamiliar with, whether they were grand, or modest. He had been to weddings of celebrities, of politicians, of his friends, of his relatives, whether distant or from his immediate family. He had seen many brides (be it female... or male. Ahem), their faces glowing with happiness, as they walked down the aisle to finally tie the knot with their beloved. And then there were the looks on the faces of the grooms. The looks that said that they were ready and looking forward to embracing the future that lay before them. Of course, there were some cases where either the bride or groom got cold feet at the very last minute, but mostly, the weddings that he had attended were joyous occasions. The looks on the faces of grooms said that they were ready to embrace the future as husband and-

Oh, good God, this was getting mushy.

Gokudera dropped his cigarette to the ground and grinded it with the sole of his shoe, effectively putting it out.

So, basically, he had been to a shitload of weddings before.

"Kufufufu, the wedding has not even begun and you're already in a bad mood?" came the voice of his annoying best friend.

His sister's, his friends', heck, even the weddings of his fucking aunts and uncles. He had seen them all. The happiness, the anxiety, the tears... The loving smiles as the couple would take turns to slip their wedding rings on each other... The looks of joy on the newlyweds' faces... The chatter of relatives and friends of the couple... The speeches that the bride and groom would make about each other... The impatience from children that just did not give a flying fuck about being there during the ceremony... He was familiar with them. All of them.

"Who says that I'm in a bad mood?" Gokudera said.

At first, attending these weddings was not a big deal. He attended them out of respect, or to celebrate the marriage between people who were special to him. But as the years went by and more and more of his friends and relatives got married, Gokudera began to find weddings a bit annoying, depressing even. He would often watch, as he sat on the benches provided in church (or wherever it was the wedding was held), as his friends went up to the front and tied the knot. Of course, he felt happy for them, but after watching this happen so many times, he could not help but to feel a bit lonely.

"Well," Mukuro pointed out calmly. "That was your fifth stick of cigarette in the past thirty minutes."

And the fact that he had never been in a steady relationship before simply did not help matters.

But it was not entirely his fault. He was always busy with his job, and being the assistant to the owner of a company was very hectic. Then there was the fact that he did not seem to get along well with anyone except his boss, and even then, that was only because he had known the man since they were in high school.

"What are you, stalking me?"

As much as it made him feel like a pussy to admit it, but... He was always the one to attend weddings-

"No, merely observing."

-but never the one to get married.

Normally, this was something that women would worry about, but when one is over thirty, even if one is a male, it does make one sit back and think. Especially when one had been spending the past ten years with his nose buried in paperwork, and one day, sat up and realized just how lonely he felt, and how everyone else in his life, had already settled down and begun building their own lives. Really, it was only after being lost in his work for ten years that he finally woke up and realized this fact. As pathetic as it sounded, Gokudera often found himself thinking about this. In a few more years, he would be forty. Then, fifty. Then, sixty. Then...

"Admit it." Gokudera took out another stick of cigarette out of its box and stuck it between his lips.

Then he would be too fucking old.

Gokudera continued, "You were being a creeper, as usual."

Really, he did not necessarily have to get married. The point was settling down. He really should not be worrying about this, but he could not help it. It is only natural for people to want company, no matter how much of a loner they are.

Mukuro chuckled. "And you're grumpy, as usual."

Heck, even _Rokudo Mukuro _had gotten himself hitched, and that man was one of the most annoying people he knew. Yes, _one_ of the most annoying. How the hell the guy managed to get some chick to fall in love with him, Gokudera did not know.

Gokudera only grunted in response.

He pulled out another stick of cigarette, stuck it between his lips and lighted it when Mukuro spoke again.

"Hey," Mukuro whispered into Gokudera's ear, amusement apparent in his voice. "Your Prince Charming is here."

Gokudera did not even realize what Mukuro had said until the lighted end of his new cigarette was suddenly put out when a drop of water fell on it.

It had started to rain.

Chuckling to himself, Mukuro retreated to the hotel, back to where the ceremony was going to be held.

Droplets of rain began to fall from the sky, landing on silver hair and a freshly pressed suit.

Brilliant. Just fucking brilliant.

Exactly what he needed right now. For someone to give him a freaking headache.

Sure enough, he could hear footsteps approach him, followed by a clicking sound and a flash of light. Gokudera did not even need to look back to know who it was that had arrived, because the sign was there. This sort of thing always happened. He did not know whether it was pure coincidence, but whenever it happened to rain, that person would appear. Before he could prepare himself, an arm suddenly wrapped itself around his shoulders, and the most happy and annoying voice filled his ears.

"Hey, Dera!"

"Oh, for fuck's sake," Gokudera groaned. "Why the hell are you here?"

"Ha ha!" the man laughed as he turned his digital camera off and slipped it into his pocket. "You're so mean, Dera."

"Shut up."

Throughout his entire life of attending weddings, only one person was there to accompany him through all of them. Ever since Gokudera had met him at a wedding ceremony when they were younger, much, much, much younger, he could not remember a time where they did not bump into the other during ceremonies that followed. Nor could he ever remember a time where he was not irritated with the other. The man was a complete and utter idiot. An idiot that was thoroughly obsessed with baseball. Seriously. Every single time they met, the other would sit by his side and would annoy the living daylight out of him the moment he opened his idiotic mouth.

And the name of that person?

"Aww, no, that's no way to treat a friend." The man moved the umbrella that he was carrying so that it would cover the both of them from the rain. "Here."

Yamamoto Takeshi.

"Who says that we're friends?" Gokudera said haughtily.

Gokudera had always been short tempered, he knew that. Even the slightest provocation could get him riled up. Being sent to detention during his school years for getting involved in fights was not something unheard of. If not for the fact that he had a brilliant mind and did excellently in school, he would have long been expelled. But as he grew up, he had matured and learned to control his temper. Gone was the fiery, loud, short tempered teen, replaced by a calm, quiet and mature adult. Now, it took a lot for him to lose his temper.

However, for all the growing up and maturing that he had done over the years, the only person that could get him riled up faster than you can say "hello" was Yamamoto Takeshi.

Really.

Gokudera was always at the end of his rope with Yamamoto. The idiot. The man could go on and on for hours about baseball, and Gokudera just did not know why he bothered listening to that crap. But listen, he did. He had even attended all of Yamamoto's baseball games.

You see, even if Yamamoto was the only one that managed to irritate Gokudera without much effort-

"I say that we're friends," Yamamoto said, smiling good-naturedly, not bothered by Gokudera's comment in the least.

-he was also the one that made him feel a lot less lonely.

Every time, during a ceremony, they would sit together and eat. In fact, that was how they had met each other for the first time. Little Gokudera had been eating all by his lonesome when a young Yamamoto had come over with his own plate of food and sat next to him. At first, Gokudera did all that he could to get rid of Yamamoto. He would often end up yelling at Yamamoto to "leave me the hell alone" only to have his yells fall upon deaf ears – the idiot continued to follow him around. He stuck to Gokudera like glue.

As time went by, Gokudera slowly came to accept Yamamoto's presence in his life. He no longer tried to escape from Yamamoto, and would even save a seat for him, knowing that Yamamoto would sit there. And after acceptance, came genuine friendship. It was an odd friendship, where Gokudera would always snap at Yamamoto for the tiniest of things and latter would laugh at the former's frustration, but it was friendship all the same. Though Gokudera was constantly annoyed with him, should the situation call for it, he would be the first to have Yamamoto's back.

It was also not unusual for them to spend time with each other after nearly each wedding ceremony. Sometimes, they would head for each other's house. At Gokudera's house, they would usually watch a movie or two, or just talk to each other till it was time for Yamamoto to head back. At Yamamoto's house, they would usually eat sushi, then play some silly game that Yamamoto cooked up, or Gokudera would listen to Yamamoto go on about his latest baseball match. Sometimes, they would go to a coffee shop, where they would talk to each other for hours on end. And then there were times where they would just hang out at the park, to relax.

"Come on," Yamamoto said, gesturing for him to follow. "The ceremony is about to start."

It was during times that they spent together that made the emptiness in Gokudera's life disappear.

"Yeah, yeah..."

For years, they had watched each other grow up. Yamamoto had watched Gokudera grow up from being a cheery child, to a bad-tempered, problematic teenager, to, finally, a calm, rational adult. Gokudera in turn, had watched... Oh heck, who was he kidding? Throughout the years, Yamamoto had not changed. Not a single jot. The only difference was that instead of just dreaming and pursuing his dream of becoming a baseball player, Yamamoto was already one.

As they walked into the hotel together, Gokudera glanced at Yamamoto.

A smile, a soft smile, that went unnoticed by Yamamoto, lifted at Gokudera's lips.

He was the only one that made Gokudera feel like a time of no longer feeling lonely was not too far off.

* * *

><p><strong>DIOR:<strong> Just a short rambling fic written for the 3rd 8059 fanbook released on Decimoluce. I didn't actually plan to post this since I feel that it's not that good (it has been forever since I've written 8059 orz. KHR muse, where are you? I still need to finish my 8059 chaptered fic "Written in Ink" *depresses*), but at Lia-Osaka92's encouragement, I thought, what the heck, it's already available online in the book xD Reviews are appreciated and loved.


End file.
